


Dance through the Storm

by Carmenlire



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Magnus Bane, Blood and Violence, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Coma, Comfort/Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt Alec, Immortal Alec, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Medical, POV Magnus Bane, Protective Magnus Bane, like in the future, soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 12:19:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmenlire/pseuds/Carmenlire
Summary: There’s no hiding the blood crusting on Alec’s ribs, the mauled opening in his chest. While not bleeding, Magnus knows the extent of the injury is serious. Fatally, so.The demon’s claw has nicked Alec’s heart. More than nicked-- it had cut into Alec’s heart, severing an artery. Magnus had tried desperately in the alley, but he couldn’t knit Alec’s heart together. There’s a painful irony in there somewhere about broken hearts but if Magnus allows himself to travel down that path he may never make it back.Magnus waits for Alec to wake up.





	Dance through the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Never Give Up on You by Lucie Jones

_Oh, God_.

The bottom falls out of Magnus’s life as he hears a gut-wrenching shout.

It’s like everything is happening in slow motion and Magnus is helpless to do anything but turn around and see the worst sight he could imagine. A whimper escapes his lips as he sees the demon pull its bloodied claw from Alec’s chest.

 _Alexander_.

Alec’s eyes roll back and he falls to the ground in a sort of slow topple that’s as graceful as it is utterly terrifying.

Magnus doesn’t notice anything going on around him. His complete focus is on his love, motionless, lying in an ever-expanding pool of blood. He doesn’t notice Jace collapse on the ground a hundred feet away, doesn’t see Izzy’s skin bleach of all color.

It’s like a switch has flipped and Magnus isn’t even aware of the red sparks fizzling around his entire body. His glamour disintegrates and before he knows what’s happening, Magnus is calling on half a millenium of power. 

He strikes viciously at the remaining few dozen demons in a frenzy of rage and swirling grief, the likes of which he’s never known. He can feel his soul fragmenting, can only recall the last few seconds, playing over and over, and it serves as fuel to maintain his destruction of any further threat to Alec.

His control, always so absolute and ice-calm, has evaporated. Magnus has always known that he was a brooding hurricane. Cold and calculating but with an edge of emotion that he’s by turns loathed and reveled in. He’s burning up from the inside and he doesn’t want to reign it in. These demons have hurt the one person Magnus cares for above all else, and by all that’s demonic _they will pay_.

Jace is lying on the filthy, damp ground of the alley and Izzy watches the trio with true fear licking up her throat, paralyzing her. Jace is mindless to anything except the unimaginable pain wracking through his body in waves, the piece of his soul that’s intertwined with Alec’s burning to ash. Izzy sees her big brother, her rock, unmoving with blood beginning to trickle from his lips and her whip falls to the ground with a clang she doesn’t hear. 

She watches Magnus decimate a nest of demons and, for the first time, she gets a true sense of his power. It’s easy to think of Magnus as just an amicable man that likes good liquor and good times. She’s seen him raze buildings and call upon greater demons, but she’s never seen him _like this_.

This isn’t just a capable warlock doing what must be done for the greater good. This is one of the most powerful warlocks on the planet giving in to his baser instincts and she doesn’t know how to stop it. She thinks the only person who could reach Magnus right now is dying, just a few feet away and her gut turns to water.

Magnus realizes that he’s out of control but he doesn’t have the inclination or wherewithal to do anything about it. All of the demons are dead, back to whatever dimension of hell they’d crawled out from, and Magnus very well may have allowed himself to destroy everything if it wasn’t for the choked gasp he hears behind him. It’s the only noise that pierces the fog, a sound that breaks through everything, no matter how quiet.

His magic immediately clamps down, the pulsing red disappearing. He whips around and is kneeling beside Alec in the next second. The full moon doesn’t let Magnus harbor any delusions-- he can see Alec’s pale skin, already turning grey, and the rivulet of blood falling from the corner of his mouth down his chin.

He sees the wound in Alec’s chest, an ugly puncture where more blood is seeping at a steady rate. Alec’s breath is labored, faint, desperate inhales followed by choked gurgling and Magnus feels like it’s his own heart that’s been stabbed.

His magic comes to attention again, wrenching out of him without conscious thought, the wispy strands of blue gathering in his palm, pulsing, as he places a hand above the wound. 

His other hand moves to Alec’s cheek, an achingly gentle caress. Alec’s eyes are closed but a pitiful moan escapes him as Magnus starts repairing the damage.

Mindless in pain, hanging onto this plane by the thinnest thread, Alec turns his head and nuzzles into Magnus’s palm, a grounding point in a sea of agony and confusion.

Magnus’s heart breaks for the dozenth time in as many minutes and he redoubles his efforts, pouring everything he has into saving Alec.

Words are spilling from his lips, he’s not paying attention, only knows that the talking seems to be keeping both of them alive.

Izzy hears, though, and the desperate litany hits her full force.

Magnus and Alec are a story for the ages. Izzy is very much aware that the tale of their love, their success against all odds, will remain long after she’s nothing but a plaque in the City of Bones. Yet, the two of them are intensely private. Their devotion is obvious, seen in lingering glances and soft touches. But the full fire of their bond has never been so apparent as she hears Magnus plead for Alec to stay.

“My darling, my love, _please_ , you must stay awake. I know you don’t want to, I know it hurts, but I need you to stay with me.”

Alec’s body turns boneless and his head lolls to the side. The tension leaves his body and Isabelle feels like screaming.

Magnus’s face is a picture of concentration and the blue becomes dense, impenetrable, as sweats begins to drip down from his temple.

“It’s okay, love, you’re resting now and can’t feel the pain. As long as you continue to fight, you can rest as long as you need. Hold on, Alexander. By everything that I am, you will make it through this.”

The hand that’s holding Alec’s face is trembling, thumb brushing softly across Alec’s cheek in a motion that Magnus doesn’t notice.

Izzy jolts her attention from the sweeping motion to Magnus when she hears him mutter a guttural curse.

“God _damn_ me.”

Isabelle meets Magnus’s eyes and they hold a stunned horror that looks wrong on his face.

“I can’t heal him,” Magnus whispers. “The wound is too deep. It’s not responding to my magic. The only thing I can do is put his body in a kind of stasis so we can transport him to the infirmary. This has to be healed at the Institute.”

Galvanized with a plan, Izzy nods once and says, “Open the portal.”

She runs over to Jace and puts a hand on his shoulder. He writhes away, uncomfortable with touch as his skin is too sensitive.

“Jace, we need to take Alec to the Institute. Magnus is opening a portal but we need to go over there. Come on, I’ll help.”

Jace grits his teeth and pushes himself to his feet. He sways dangerously, but Izzy is right there and wedges her shoulder under his arm. They stumble over to where Magnus still kneels over Alec, the portal already swirling a few feet away. There’s a golden light over every inch of Alec. Magnus stands up and Alec’s body floats up to hover a few feet from the ground. He’s motionless, but it looks like he’s stopped bleeding out for the moment. Clutching Alec’s hand, Magnus moves the two of them through the portal. He doesn’t look back to see whether Isabelle or Jace make it through, his total focus on Alec.

Thankful for her activated strength rune, Izzy readjusts her grip on Jace. With a deep breath, she pulls Jace with her into the portal a second before it closes.

 

Magnus walks through the portal into the Institute with Alec floating by his side. Considering the last fifteen minutes, he’s admirably calm. His glamour is still down and he’s trembling but the rage has left him, leaving behind muted panic.

It’s been centuries since he last panicked. He could have gone the rest of his immortal life without ever having felt the damned emotion again.

As soon as he steps into the command center, he’s barking orders. There’s a dozen shadowhunters loitering in the room, some just leaving for assignments and others returning. A few are on computers, obviously researching.

Everything comes to a grinding halt whenever they catch site of the four of them. Jace throws up as soon as he and Isabelle leave the portal, Izzy rubbing his shoulders.

Nobody moves for a beat as they take in the tableau and Magnus can feel the crackling in the air-- a warning that he’s about to unleash hell-- when the shadowhunters start moving. Everyone gets out of the way as Magnus starts running through the halls, going to the infirmary. Alec is a weightless presence beside him.

Two shadowhunters sprint ahead and open the doors for Magnus before he can fling them wide with his magic. Their eyes are glued to Alec and Magnus would see fear and worry if he bothered to look.

Alec has been Head of the Institute for three years and in that time, there’s been a world of change and reform. Things still aren’t perfect by any means-- Alexander isn’t perfect-- but the New York Institute has gained a reputation as a groundbreaking, liberal institute with especially amicable relationships with all of the downworld factions. There’s been an influx of new recruits putting in transfer orders since things calmed down with Lilith and it’s kept Alec up to his eyeballs in paperwork.

The shadowhunters here respect Alec and what he stands for. Seeing their leader like this has to be a shock of the worst kind to them.

 _Join the club_ , Magnus thinks.

Once in the infirmary, it’s a circus. Magnus careful lays Alec down on a hospital bed, stripping him of his ripped shirt and filthy pants. In just his underwear, the situation seems even more dire.

There’s no hiding the blood crusting on Alec’s ribs, the mauled opening in his chest. While not bleeding, Magnus knows the extent of the injury is serious.

Fatally, so.

The demon’s claw has nicked Alec’s heart. More than nicked-- it had cut into Alec’s heart, severing an artery. Magnus had tried desperately in the alley, but he couldn’t knit Alec’s heart together. 

There’s a painful irony in there somewhere about broken hearts but if Magnus allows himself to travel down that path he may never make it back.

Alec needs runes and the silent brothers.

Magnus’s hands flutter around Alec’s body, still in stasis. He adjusts the pillow behind his head and runs a hand through Alec’s tangled black locks.

In a coma, Alec is sweating, adding a sickly pallor to his grey skin. He’s starting to twitch, Magnus’s stasis spell wearing off.

Magnus is just getting ready to yell for a shadowhunter-- where the good goddamn is everyone-- when he feels a presence. Looking up, he sees two Silent Brothers come into the room and make their way directly to Alec.

Magnus isn’t privy to their conversation, but the Silent brothers start working immediately, one on each side of the bed. They each draw two large runes on Alec’s chest, on either side of the wound, and a dozen other runes on various parts of Alec’s body. 

The golden light surrounding Alec starts to fade and Magnus watches everything like a hawk. He doesn’t miss the way Alec’s fingers twitch. Magnus catches his seeking hand, threading his fingers through Alec’s and shuddering as he feels Alec’s hand go limp, in supposed relief.

His gaze roves over Alexander, taking in his boyfriend.

Ignoring the silent brothers still briskly working, Magnus leans down until his lips hover over Alec’s. He’s so close that he can see the tear tracks that have dried on Alec’s face, can see each and every eyelash in crystal clarity.

“Love, we’re in the infirmary and two Silent Brothers are working on healing you. I’m right here, darling. You’re not alone. I will be right here, next to you, until you open those beautiful hazel eyes that you know I love so much.

“I need you to open your eyes, Alexander. I know it might not happen now, but I need to see those lovely eyes again, love. Tell me I haven’t seen them for the last time. _Please_.”

Magnus isn’t a fool. Alec is a shadowhunter and he’s gotten into more than his fair share of shit in the few years the two of them have been together. He’s always survived those scrapes.

But this.

Magnus has never seen someone survive having their heart, literally, cleaved almost in half. It’s a brutal injury and Magnus is already half-mourning.

His eyes don’t leave Alec’s face. Not as the Silent Brothers hook Alec up to an IV or pulse oximeter. The weak but steady beep of the heart monitor is a balm to Magnus’s mind. As long as Alec’s heart is beating, there’s hope. He doesn’t notice Izzy or Jace walk in. The two of them take seats at the foot of Alec’s bed, watching.

They see the Silent Brothers keep moving, mindlessly watch as Alec is given a blood transfusion, as runes are reapplied with calm competency.

They watch Magnus as he watches Alec, completely absorbed and tuning out everything around him.

It’s almost dawn when the Silent Brothers straighten up from being hunched over Alec’s prone form.

Magnus snaps to attention from where he was sitting in a chair at Alec’s side. He looks down for the first time in hours and see a neatly-stitched incision. The blood and dirt has been cleaned away. Alec looks oddly vulnerable like this. It causes an ache in Magnus’s chest to see the dozen dark stitches in stark contrast the ghostly pallor of Alec’s skin.

His gaze moves to the Silent Brothers. He’s just getting ready to ask about Alec’s prognosis when they start talking.

“Alec Lightwood suffered an almost fatal injury during combat. A few more minutes and the runes would not have had enough of his soul left to bind to. Fortunately, we arrived in time and stitched his heart back together from where the demon had pierced it. He’s been given four blood transfusions and the IV is keeping him from dehydrating and is administering pain medication. He is in a coma right now and it is up to him as to when he comes out of it. We have done what we can. The next seventy-two hours will be extremely critical as his body heals from the inside out. Please call us back immediately if he contracts a fever or you notice signs of infection.”

The Silent Brothers leave without another word and Magnus collapses back in his chair. Exhaustion is pulling at him but he’d promised Alexander that he’d be waiting, right here, for him to wake up.

So he waits. He leans forward, resting his upper body on the bed, holding Alec’s hand in both of his. He brings his head down to lay on top of their entwined hands and works on his breathing.

 _In. Out. In. Out_.

The fact that Alec is still fighting is heartening and a testament to his strength. He’s never had luck with it in the past, but Magnus allows a thread of hope to weave through him. Maybe it’s not blind love and fury that will keep Alec at his side.

Magnus startles when a hand lands on his shoulder, sitting up and looking over at Izzy. There are dark circles under her eyes and her makeup is smudged all to hell and back. She looks like a fierce madonna. 

They look into each other’s eyes for a moment before Izzy breaks contact. She brings her chair over until it’s next to Magnus’s. She sits down heavily, as if the weight of the world is pressing down on her. Carefully, she brings her hands up and they hover over Alec for a moment, unsure. Gently, she brings them down until one is resting on Alec’s side, the other on the outside of his leg. Izzy bites her lip hard enough to draw blood but swallows the sob that’s built in her throat.

Jace is asleep at the foot of the bed, the trauma of almost losing his parabatai bringing him to fitful rest.

The sun is just peeking through the stained glass windows, bathing Alec in a kaleidoscope of colors. He looks peaceful. 

Magnus and Isabelle sit, quiet, and wait for Alec to wake up.

 

Alec wakes to golden sunshine. The sheets are warm and there’s a solid weight wrapped around him. He grins and moves back until he’s flush against the heat radiating from behind him. The arm tightens, bringing him that much closer, and Alec can feel his boyfriend’s arousal.

Magnus hums, moving his hips a little, and it turns into a low moan as he presses against Alec’s ass.

“Good morning, darling,” he murmurs in Alec’s ear, his breath leaving shivering trails.

Alec huffs out a laugh. “Morning, honey.”

There’s a beat of silence before they’re breaking into giggles. Magnus turns him around and now they’re laying on their sides, facing each other, with barely an inch between them.

Magnus’s lips ghost over Alec’s as he asks, incredulously, “Honey. Really, Alexander?”

Alec bites his lip, grinning as Magnus’s eyes dart down to his mouth. “I can’t help it, love, you’re just so sweet.”

Magnus shakes his head, amused, before leaning forward.

Their lips meet and it’s soft, a good morning kiss they’ve shared a million times before and will have for a million more. It says _hello_ and _I love you_ and _I want you_.

It’s Alec’s favorite way to wake up. 

Warmth turns to scorching heat in the next beat and Alec’s back is against the mattress, Magnus between his thighs. He’s leaning over Alec, mouthing at his chest, and Alec is mindless with desire. He _loves_ this. He can never get enough of being surrounded by Magnus. His weight pressing Alec down and making him tremble with want. Alec dazedly pulls Magnus back up until they’re kissing again.

It simmers down and they lazily makeout for a while, content. It’s not every morning they get to sleep in and enjoy each other. Most of the time, Alec is up before the sun and rushing off to the Institute before Magnus can blink awake.

Alec can’t remember why he’s allowed to have today off but he decides that it doesn’t matter. Not as long as he gets this. Nothing matters except Magnus and his love, burning through him like an inferno.

Alec never minds getting caught in the flames.

The sun is hanging high in the sky by the time they get out of bed. Alec would have sworn that it was supposed to be a miserable day, full of icy rain and thunderstorms, but there’s not a cloud in the sky and he can hear the birds chirping.

It’s like a dream.

They share a shower that goes on far longer than necessary-- “it’s not my fault, darling, you’re the one with the cute ass who just _had_ to bend over for the shampoo”-- and the two of them get dressed with lingering touches and lazy smiles.

They leave the loft in the early afternoon and walk around the corner to their favorite brunch spot. Spending a couple of hours eating a leisurely meal, everything feels like it’s being filtered through syrup. It’s hazy and golden and so damn sweet. They leave the restaurant arm in arm and stroll through the streets of New York.

They pop into shops that catch their eye. Magnus tries on a sinfully tight outfit that makes Alec’s mouth go dry and Alec finds a necklace for him that he buys when Magnus is changing.

Without his noticing, it’s already dusk and they’re walking the footpaths of Central Park.

Their progress is impeded as they stop every three feet and exchange happy kisses. Alec has long since grown comfortable and confident with himself, but his sense of propriety still thinks that they shouldn’t grope each other in full view of half of New York.

With that thought in mind, Alec breaks the kiss and looks around, expecting to see outraged mothers and scandalized children.

There’s no one, though.

Central Park is empty. There’s not a soul besides the two of them as far as the eye can see. 

_How strange_.

Now that he thinks about it, Alec can’t remember running into anyone the whole day. New York was notoriously rude and busy but the streets had been curiously bare. Besides the waitress, Alec doesn’t think he can recall a single person he’s seen today.

He’s just opening his mouth to ask Magnus about it when Magnus wraps his arms around his neck. He’s so close and Alec loses his train of thought immediately.

Who cares that the populace of New York decided to stay in when he has Magnus holding him like he’ll never let go.

Alec noses into Magnus’s hair and hums a little under his breath. He widens his stance and wraps his own arms around Magnus’s waist.

They stand there for long minutes, just holding each other. Eventually, Magnus lifts his head from where it was lying on his shoulder and smiles at Alec, softly, as his eyes crinkle at the corners, radiating joy and contentedness.

He starts swaying side to side and Alec follows the motion without thinking. Magnus smiles a little to himself as he guides Alec, discretely magicking music into the air. A harp plays quietly somewhere in the distance and Magnus settles a little deeper against Alec’s front, slow dancing in the waning light.

Alec doesn’t notice the music or that they’re dancing. Alec isn’t much of a dancer-- only does so when he can no longer hold out against Magnus’s adorable pout-- but he’s too caught up in the feeling in his chest to do anything but mindlessly follow his boyfriend.

Magnus is the most attractive man that Alec has ever seen. It’s more than that, though. Magnus is beautiful. It’s such a fucking cliche, but not only is Magnus physically stunning, inside he’s the best man Alec has ever met. He’s kind and gentle and has a capacity for love that often leaves Alec standing in awe.

Magnus isn’t perfect. He’s stubborn as hell and holds a grudge with the best of them. He can be petty and childish and set in his ways. But all of that makes him human and Alec wouldn’t change a thing about him.

Magnus is imperfectly perfect for him.

Alec’s planning on proposing soon, but he’s waiting. They’ve been together for a little over three years and he’s _ready_. He’s known that Magnus is the Love of His Life since his abandoned wedding. He knows that there will never be anyone else for him as long as his heart beats.

Something is holding him back, though. He’s had a ring tucked into his armory chest for a few months. He’d collaborated with Izzy and Caterina to design the perfect piece. Alec needs something to happen before he can take that next step, the final step. 

The only big, _disastrous_ , fight that Magnus and him have ever had was a result of Magnus’s immortality-- or Alec’s own lack thereof. That was ages ago but Alec doesn’t want to marry Magnus with his mortality hanging above them, a finite termination to their life together.

Alec wants immortality and he thinks he’s finally found the way to get it.

It’s taken months of research and dozens of visits to warlocks around the world. It’s been a pain to keep everything from his perennially nosy boyfriend, but Alec hadn’t wanted to hurt Magnus. He doesn’t want Magnus to think that Alec isn’t okay with his infinite lifespan. He’s not the issue. It’s Alec that needs to change.

Alec has thought of this decision since that first argument back when Lilith was still an emerging threat. He’d decided then to pursue immortality. It had started as a resolution to stay with Magnus, a desperate decision to be the one person that would never leave him. But as his tenure as Head of the Institute had continued, Alec couldn’t deny that he was a born leader and a skillful politician. He wanted to live, not just for Magnus, but because he wanted to see real reform in Idris and the Shadow World and that would take decades, if not centuries, to come to fruition.

He hadn’t made the decision lightly. There’d been nights he’d lain awake while Magnus slept, wondering if he had it in him to see everything he knew change and fade. About a year ago, Magnus and him had suffered through a bit of a rough patch. Alec had been quiet and withdrawn, spending almost all of his time at the Institute. He’d known he was worrying Magnus but he couldn’t help himself. He’d spent those evenings and weekends and long hours watching the bustling of his Institute. He’d wandered the halls and reminisced, imprinting scenes and interactions into his mind as best he could. He’d leaned against doorways, unobtrusive, and watched Izzy and Jace train, watched as Max became a talented shadowhunter in his own right. He’s watched his people become the kind of shadowhunters they should have been all along, tolerant and intuitive.

He’d made his peace with things. It had been Izzy who’d finally cornered him in his office and demanded to know what the hell was going on with Magnus. He’d deliberated, but ultimately everything had poured out-- his guilt for wanting immortality, his worry that Magnus wouldn’t share his desire, his already-present grief for letting his family leave him behind.

Izzy had taken his face into her hands and looked straight into his eyes as she’d called him the stupidest man she’d ever met.

 _Hermano_ , she’d said. _I told you once that you’d find somebody to love you heart and soul and you have. Magnus is it for you, Alec, and I’ve known that since the moment you two met. I’m happy for you for making the decision to stay with him. You don’t need to feel guilt. This is who you were meant to be, brother, and I’m so proud of you_.

They’d hugged and cried and Alec had left the Institute that afternoon with the terrible weight finally off his shoulders. He’d gone straight to the loft and cut Magnus off before he could finish asking why he was home so early.

He’d grabbed Magnus by the lapels of his dark turquoise blazer and kissed him like he hadn’t seen him in ages.

It wasn’t far off.

Magnus had immediately opened for him and they’d spent the rest of the day and most of the next making love. They’d fucked on almost every surface of their apartment and Alec was sore for days afterward. It was a hurt he relished.

Magnus had never asked about the change in mood, but their relationship had bounced back to it’s usual nauseating sweetness. 

Cat had called him a few days ago and told him that she thought she’s found the answer in an ancient text that had recently come into her possession. He’d immediately headed over to her townhouse and the two of them had poured over the book. _They’d found it_.

Alec planned to surprise Magnus this weekend with the news. 

Alec’s brought back to the present as Magnus’s arms tighten around his neck, as he nuzzles into it, gently kissing Alec’s pulse point.

Alec shivers and brushes his mouth over Magnus’s temple before looking down at him.

“Hi,” he whispers.

“Hi, pretty boy,” Magnus murmurs back. They’re still moving but just as Alec goes to lean down and kiss that beautiful smile, something goes wrong.

 _He_ feels wrong.

There’s thunder in the distance and a fierce wind is whistling through the trees. Everything is darkening, turning pitch black, and Alec holds onto Magnus with all his strength.

He tries to speak. He tries to yell, to ask Magnus what’s going on, but the words are trapped in his throat.

He’s dizzy and disoriented and in the next minute he’s alone.

He can’t see Magnus. He doesn’t feel him next to him. It starts raining, nasty, icy drops that chill him down to the bone.

He doesn’t know what’s happened to Magnus. He can’t catch his breath enough to scream, to call out.

It’s just Alec and the crashing storm.

 

Magnus groggily raises his head as the drone of a machine wakes him up.

He snaps to attention as he realizes that he’s still in the infirmary, still sitting in the uncomfortably hard chair at Alec’s bedside.

“He’s crashing,” a shadowhunter barks out. “Apply an iratze to the wound,” she tells another medic.

Magnus stands up as his world comes crashing down.

His eyes are glued to Alec, his Alexander, who’s heart isn’t beating. It’s late in the evening and it’s been just over twenty four hours since he was first injured. Magnus must have drifted to sleep a couple of hours ago. 

He wishes he’d been able to stay awake as he watches the head medic start chest compressions.

 _Oh, God_.

There’s nothing Magnus can do as he watches the scene in front of him. His eyes flit all over Alec and he’s just about to reach for his hand again, needing that comfort and point of contact, when a crash cart is wheeled to the bed and “clear,” is called out.

The medic lifts the paddles and charges them, taking just a second before bringing them against Alec’s chest.

Nothing happens.

Magnus isn’t breathing and tears are starting to fall down his face. He’s paralyzed. He’s watching the life drain from Alec and he wants to scream at the injustice of it all.

 _Clear_ is yelled out again and Alec’s body lurches up as he’s hit with the current of electricity.

Still nothing and Magnus’s knees are weak, buckling against the crippling grief tearing at his insides.

The medic curses and brushes her hair out of her face, every line tense as she ups the charge another level and brings the paddles down one last time.

Everything in Magnus freezes as he watches them descend.

He prays to every god, angel, and demon he’s never believed in and waits.

He doesn’t hear the tea tray shatter on the ground as Isabelle rounds the corner and sees her brother clinically dead. He doesn’t see Jace’s sheet-white face or hear Maryse whisper, “No, my baby. _No_.”

His entire world is Alec in that moment. Alec’s still chest, his bleached skin, the circles under his eyes and still-healing wound.

As if in slow motion, the paddles come down for the third time. 

Once again, Alec’s body contorts and Magnus almost doesn’t realize what it means when a giant gasp follows.

The next second, he’s collapsing back into his chair. Only his chair must be further back than he thought because he crashes against the hard tile floor. He doesn’t feel the impact.

He feels overwhelming, gut-clenching relief. 

The heart monitor picks up a steady pulse and Magnus gazes up at Alec from where he’s sitting on the floor, knees drawn up. He doesn’t feel the tears streaming down his face and ruining whatever remains of his makeup.

He’s off the floor and at Alec’s side a minute later, taking his hand in a strong grip and placing a hand on his jaw, gently sweeping across his cheek. He kisses Alec in the gentlest way, lips barely touching as a sob of relief escapes.

Alec’s lips are chapped, his hair is dull and flat, and his eyes are sunken in.

He’s the most beautiful man Magnus has ever goddamn seen.

The two shadowhunter medics are replacing the IV and checking over the wound, noticing small signs of infection.

Alec is warm to the touch and his cheeks are a blazing red, terrifying in contrast to his graveyard pallor.

All Magnus can do is be there for Alec as he fights. He drained his magic last night and it hasn’t had a chance to recharge-- between staying up for over twenty four hours and only sleeping in a shitty hospital chair, he’s exhausted.

His thumb strokes Alec knuckles and he tunes everyone else out as he starts talking to Alec. He’d talked to him for hours earlier until his voice threatened to give out. He’s hoarse now but Magnus keeps a running monologue. Even if Alec is where Magnus can’t follow, Magnus hopes that his voice will lead his love home.

“Alexander, my love, you do so like to worry me, don’t you?” Magnus brushes Alec’s hair back, continues running a hand through it.

“I know you’re resting, darling, and it’s so important that you keep your strength up. Because I need you to keep fighting. I need you to find your way back to me. We always find our way back to each other, pretty boy, isn’t that right?”

The medics have left, having stabilized Alec as best they can for now, and the room is totally silent except for the beeping of the heart monitor and Magnus’s voice.

“We’ve made it through so much. Your story doesn’t end here, Alec. You will open those beautiful eyes again. I will stay here, holding your hand, until you wake up. I promise you that. I’m right here, Alexander. We won’t give up, love.”

Magnus raises Alec’s hand and brushes his nose against it, looking at Alec through his lashes. “You can’t leave me, Alexander. Who knows how much of a disaster I would be without you. Who would make me the best french toast in the world or watch terrible foreign films with me when it’s rainy.” 

He furiously wipes his eyes. His voice is hard, hiding the desperate, pleading edge underneath as he continues. “You’re not allowed to leave me, Alec. I forbid it. We’re supposed to have more time. _I’m_ supposed to have more time with you. You’re not allowed to die until you’re old and grey and walking around with a cane. You’d make the most wonderful old man, darling. You’re already so grumpy and curmudgeonly.” He laughs wetly. “Goddamn if you wouldn’t have been able to hold your own with Ragnor. My God, you two would have been thick as thieves.

“We’re supposed to get married, darling. You’re supposed to ask me in your usual blunt fashion when I least expect it and we’ll get married in blue and gold with all of our family and friends in attendance. You’re supposed to look so gorgeous I forget my name and I know I planned to stun you into your adorable stuttering.

“We’re supposed to have decades, Alexander, and I _refuse_ , I damn well refuse, to give up one more second with you than I have to. I won’t survive you, Alec. And I know you know that so goddamn it but I need you to wake up so I can hold you in my arms and never let you go, angel.”

Magnus’s head falls to the bed with him still clutching Alec’s hand in a vise grip. He’s so fucking tired. They weren’t even supposed to be on patrol last night. They’d been at the Hunter’s Moon enjoying a pre-dinner drink when Alec had gotten a call from Izzy asking for back-up a couple of blocks away. It was supposed to be a routine kill mission, fifteen minutes top and minimal ichor spilled before they’d be on their way to the steakhouse Alec had been wanting to try for weeks. But, they’d gotten there only to see a nest had cropped up and the fighting had been brutal and bloody and devastating.

God _damn_ it, it wasn’t fair. Magnus could raze the whole of the city with his helpless rage.

He takes a shuddering breath before lifting his head back up. With the small amount of magic returned, he summons a washcloth and dips it into the cool water in the washbasin. He places it gently on Alec’s forehead, hoping to keep him as cool and comfortable as possible.

Magnus settles back in his chair, never letting go of Alec’s hand. That point of contact is doubtlessly the only thing keeping him sane.

He sits, waiting for Alec to come back to him.

 

Alec stands at the balcony railing, breathing deep. He loves a good thunderstorm, the way the air is charged and on the cusp of violence. He likes the aftermath, when everything is clean and the air smells of renewal. It’s elemental and dramatic and Alec’s always been one to appreciate such things. He watches the dark clouds move away as the sun starts to peak out.

He likes thunderstorms for an entirely new reason now and he pads back inside, closing the door against the rush of cool air. Magnus is where he’d left him, on the couch, with the movie paused. They’re watching some hideous movie in a language Alec doesn’t think he’s ever heard in his life, and the subtitles leave too much to be desired.

They’re in their lazy day clothes with Magnus wearing leggings and a crop top and Alec in boxers and a stretched out hoodie that’s as old as Max. Magnus is on his phone, waiting for Alec to get back from his trek outside, and he puts it down as he sees Alec approaching.

“Enjoy your post-thunderstorm reflection, darling,” he asks with a hint of a smile. Alec knows he doesn’t understand his fascination with storms, but Magnus humors him anyway.

“Yeah. It looks like it was a pretty bad one. I saw a couple of power lines down and a tree had smashed through the hood of a car down the block. We’re lucky you’re magical, babe.”

Magnus laughs and shakes his head a little. “Glad to know you only want me so I can keep power outages and structural damage away, Alexander.”

Alec chuckles and sits down next to Magnus, laying his arms across Magnus’s legs as he throws them over Alec’s. Alec rubs a hand along Magnus’s leg in a subconscious movement as he replies.

“You know I keep you around for more than that.” He grins with a devilish glint in his eye. “Who else would give me the best massages on the planet after a rough day on patrol?”

Magnus rolls his eyes as he removes his legs from on top of Alec’s. He huffs in mock affront. “Well, darling, I have news for you. You can take your massage-needy ass and your electricity and--”

Whatever he was about to say is cut off as Alec kisses him, a hungry thing that spirals and leaves them both gasping for breath.

“What were you saying,” Alec asks.

Magnus hums, eyes closed, before opening them lazily. “Oh, I can’t remember. I think I was about to ask you to take your delectable ass straight to our bed, pretty boy.”

Alec grins and leans down, gently kissing Magnus on the nose. Magnus pouts playfully and Alec kisses him on the cheek, eyelid, jaw, before finally landing a lingering kiss on his mouth.

A few minutes later, they’re laying stretched out on the couch. Alec is on his back, with Magnus wedged between the back of the couch and Alec. A leg is thrown over Alec’s and Magnus rests his head over Alec’s heart. The steady beat lulls him to sleep.

They nap for a few hours in the afternoon warmth. Alec feels something brush against his cheek. He blinks his eyes open sleepily and sees Magnus leaning over him, running a hand over his face in feather light touches.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty,” Magnus whispers.

Alec grumbles, turning his face away. “No,” he mutters.

Magnus takes his hand and hold it steady. “Come on, darling, open those beautiful eyes for me.”

“I’m tired. Stop talking and cuddle me.”

“So, demanding,” Magnus teases but complies, laying back down. He runs a finger back and forth over Alec’s chest and they both bask in the day, simply being together.

It only feels like a minute later when Alec is pulled back from his sleep, a frown marring his features as he refuses to wake up. He’s still tired, damn it.

Magnus doesn’t stop his ministrations, though, and Alec opens his eyes against his will.

“What.”

Magnus’s eyes are full of love and fondness as he answers Alec’s surly question.

“I need you to wake up. For good, Alec.”

“Why,” Alec grouses.

“You’ve slept the day away, darling, and it’s time for dinner. Aren’t you hungry?”

Now that Alec thinks about it, he’s starving. Suddenly, it feels like he hasn’t eaten in days. He looks up at Magnus, searching.

“We really have to get up, don’t we?”

Magnus softly kisses his cheek. “I’m afraid so, love.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“I know you don’t want to, darling, but you have to. It’s time, don’t you think?”

“I like being here with you.”

Magnus huffs out a laugh. “And where do you think I’m going? I promise you, I will always be by your side, Alexander. But you’ve slept long enough and it’s time to wake up. Don’t you want some soup?”

Magnus stands up, a harrowing endeavor from where he’d been stuck between Alec and the couch. He stands, triumphant, and smiles down at Alec. He offers his hand, waiting to help Alec up.

Alec hesitates before nodding.

It was time to get up.

Alec reaches for Magnus’s hand.

 

Magnus is counting the tiles on the ceiling for the thousandth time as he sits at Alec’s bedside. It’s been three days since the accident and Magnus feels every single minute wrapping around him, suffocating him.

Alec’s been unconscious the entire time, never waking, not even flinching.

True to his word, Magnus hasn’t left Alec except to use the bathroom and shower. 

It’s been three days and Magnus feels like he’s going insane. A part of him doesn’t mind, not if Alec isn’t there with him.

He’s alone for the moment, everyone sleeping or getting food. Magnus doesn’t remember the last time he ate. He’s not hungry and anything he did force down would no doubt taste like ash.

His voice is hoarse from over-use, almost gone, so Magnus hums. He hums Alec’s favorite songs-- and the ones he hates to see if he can get a reaction-- and throws in whatever he feels like. There’s a few classical pieces and some from his childhood that Magnus doesn’t know the names to but can hear with crystal clarity.

He’s getting ready to tell Alec about his day-- a shameless exaggeration-- when the breath stops in his lungs.

He swears to everything holy that he can feel Alec’s fingers move against his.

He leans forward until his face is inches from where their hands are entwined and watches with a laser focus, his early exhaustion melting away and leaving only frenzied hope.

It’s long seconds later that Magnus sees Alec’s fingers move, a pitiful twitch that he wouldn’t normally notice.

It’s everything.

Magnus is standing up and leaning over Alec before he knows that he’s moved.

His gaze is flitting between Alec’s face and hand and everything in him is on the precipice, waiting.

“Darling, can you hear me? I’m so happy that you moved your hand. Is there something you need to tell me? Something you want? You have to open your eyes, love, and tell me. Please open your eyes, Alexander.”

Magnus’s mouth goes dry as he sees Alec’s eyes moving behind his eyelids.

“You’re so close, love. What is it?”

It seems like an eternity later when Alec’s mouth opens, rasping, “Magnus?”

Magnus’s whole body shakes and he sobs out a breath. “Yes, darling?”

“Magnus.”

“Yes, it’s me, Alexander. I’m right here.”

Alec’s mouth opens and closes a few times. He’s obviously thinking, searching for words.

“It’s okay, take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

Alec whispers, “I love you,” and Magnus breaks down, sobbing, choking on the emotions raging through him.

Voice breaking, he whispers back, “Oh, my darling, my Alexander, I love you so much. I love you to distraction.”

He leans forward and touches his forehead against Alec’s. He takes a minute and breathes, it seems like for the first time since the demon first hurt Alec.

He can feel Alec’s lips moving, no words coming out, and he’s summoned a glass of water the next second. He puts a hand under Alec’s head and gently lifts him, bringing the cup up to his mouth.

“Here, love. Drink this.”

He magicks a straw into the cup and Alec takes a cautious sip and rests for a long beat before returning and taking a few more. He relaxes against Magnus’s hand and Magnus gently eases him back down.

Alec says something, too softly to hear, and Magnus leans forward, eagerly.

“I’m sorry, darling, I didn't quite catch that. What did you say?”

Alec swallows hard before trying again. “Can. . .I have some soup?”

Magnus laughs, incredulously, and stares at Alec. His laugh might have a hysterical edge to it but all of his feelings come crashing down and he forgives himself. He takes Alec’s hand again, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the knuckles.

“Darling, I will make you all the soup you can stand to eat. If it’s soup you want by God it’s soup you’ll get.”

Alec smiles a little and relaxes against the sheets.

Magnus feels like he’s been splashed with cold water. He could watch Alec for hours, knowing that he’s awake and aware.

Alec shuffles around, groaning a little, and Magnus rushes to help him.

“Hey, no, love, don’t try to move. You’ve been injured and you’re still healing.”

Alec is still for a few minutes before there’s something else. Magnus is leaning over him and watches as Alec opens his eyes for the first time in over three days. Tears pool as he takes in those wonderful, _beautiful_ hazel eyes that he’s worried he’d never see again.

He leans down until he’s inches from Alec’s face, taking in every expression, every centimeter of the face he adores. The hand not holding Alec’s comes up to cup his cheek and something breaks in Magnus as Alec nuzzles into it.

They’re staring into each other eyes and Magnus is smiling as he murmurs, “Hi, pretty boy. I’m glad you’re back with me.”

Alec grins, a dopey thing no doubt caused by the pain medication coursing through his veins. “Hi, handsome. I’m glad you’re here with me.”

Magnus shakes his head, wonderingly. “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

Magnus and Alec have been through struggles that would destroy most men. They’ve made it through all of those, and now they’ve made it through this. Magnus hopes against everything that they’ll always be triumphant.

After all, they always find their way back to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on tumblr @carmenlire


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